We are a recent grandfather and our daughter asked a surprising question: "Do you think I should start tying his right arm behind his back?" Don't worry. She's not really that ruthless. But there is the theory that in sport it is an advantage to be a leftie.
Think of Laver, McEnroe and Navratilova; think of Puskas and Messi, Sobers and Lara. There are not so many golfers but it is only relatively recently that left-handed clubs have become widely available. You could also think of Australia's Ashes squad, which was announced this week, although that might not strengthen the argument.
The Australian party has not been hailed as the most awesome to head for our shores, but there are an awful lot of left-handers in it. I will not be the first old off-spinner to note that there is every chance that there will be four left-handers in Australia's first six in the Ashes series. If he needs any encouragement to return to full fitness, this fact will help Graeme Swann on the road to recovery. We know how he relishes bowling to what the Aussies – occasionally – refer to as "mollydookers". Of their specialist batsmen only the best of them, Michael Clarke and Shane Watson, are right‑handed. The rest – when they pick from Phillip Hughes, Ed Cowan, Usman Khawaja, Chris Rogers and David Warner – bat the other way round.
This is bad news for Monty Panesar, but good news for Swann, whom England will be desperate to have back. Swann torments left-handers by seeking their outside edge. Even more frequently they have been a source of frequent lbws. Nowadays, as they prod forward, left‑handed batsmen must remember to use their bat against Swann, who is twice the bowler against the mollydooker.
Notwithstanding the apparent modesty of the Aussie lineup, there is something about the left-hander. Often they possess a mesmerising elegance. Brian Lara enchanted even more than Sachin Tendulkar. Garry Sobers at his peak was beyond compare; so, too, Graeme Pollock. Likewise, it was a foolish, philistine man who opted to miss a ball of a David Gower innings, partly because of that hint of fallibility. And, for those who can cope with a bit of brutality, there is nothing to compare with Chris Gayle, whose recent 175 for the Royal Challengers Bangalore must have been tricky to condense into a highlights package.
Especially when they were in the minority, left-handed batsmen seemed to have that advantage, partly because opposition bowlers, grooved for right-handers, often struggled to adjust. It probably helped to be left-handed.
Likewise, I always craved to bowl with my left arm. Actually, I did bowl a few deliveries of orthodox left-arm spin in first-class cricket but neither Zaheer Abbas (Pakistan) nor Les Taylor (Leicestershire) seemed to be too bothered – mind you, they weren't that perturbed by the off-breaks either.
However, one needs a certain temperament to be a left-armer, which I may not have possessed. Most of them live on the edge in contrast to the majority of off-spinners, who are generally calm, measured and miserly (on the field). Phil Tufnell, the most effortless, relaxed broadcaster of today, was, by contrast, a highly-strung cricketer, subject to mood swings. So, too, was Phil Edmonds, who might bowl bouncers off two paces one moment and lose his three-pace run-up the next. Even a sensible left-armer such as Norman Gifford had no idea whether he set off to the crease with his right or left foot.
Moreover some, such as Freddie Swarbrook of Derbyshire or Keith Medlycott of Surrey, were subject to the yips. Off-spinners tend to be more reliable. Jim Laker, Ray Illingworth and John Emburey (but probably not Swann) were risk-averse, phlegmatic types, who would drink halves.
Where the cupboard has always been bare – and here lies the opportunity for those much older than my grandson – is in the pace department. No left-arm pace bowler has taken 100 Test wickets for England. Pakistan have had their Wasim Akram; West Indies their Sobers; Australia their Alan Davidson; even Mitchell Johnson, surplus to requirements this summer, has 205 Test wickets. England's best is Bill Voce, Harold Larwood's old partner, with 98 wickets, followed by Ryan Sidebottom (79) and John Lever (73).
The left-arm swinger, who traps right-handed batsmen lbw, can be gold dust when the Duke ball is at its most devious. But England – as Sidebottom heads for the autumn of his career – do not have many options here. A couple with high-class connections have flickered this summer: Keith Barker, who is Clive Lloyd's godson, and David Willey, Peter's boy. Peter Willey was the toughest of cricketers, capable of restraining a young Botham, but I guess that even he would have drawn the line at strapping the right hand of the infant David behind his back.